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Back in Australia

5/25/2017

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What happens when you hear God’s voice and it doesn’t seem real or possible what He is asking of you?  You ask for confirmation.  I had come home to the States in January (the 18th) thinking that time with my Dad was short and I should see him as often as possible.  I was correct that the time was short but not my Dad’s time but my time in the States!  It was April 25th when the Lord confirmed that it was time to return to Australia.  Seeing that I had to purchase the ticket two weeks prior to the date the Lord gave me (May 8th), the idea that I could possibly pull that off seemed ridiculous and impossible.  I didn’t even have a visa to enter the country and needed one to know how to book the travel.  I prayed and told the Lord I would need a visa in 3 days if He wanted me to return that quickly.  Last time took 7 days and the website says 4-6 weeks as general lead time.  The night of April 28th (3 days later) I got the email saying I was approved for a yearlong visa.  That allowed me to purchase the ticket through a travel agency by Monday, the 2 week deadline.  I was generously funded for my ticket, found the cheapest ticket out there, and then my medical insurance for the time here was funded!  I also had 4 ministry meetings and I had to cancel 3  of them due to lack of time.  When I arrived at the one place I had confirmed, I found everyone whom I had canceled with at that meeting, so everyone received what they had need of.  Miraculous!!  The other miracle was the response of my work.  They blessed me to go even though it put a kink into their plans for the company direction.  God’s favor was with me every step of the way and provisionary as well.  God loves to show off!
After 24 hours of travel, I arrived on Australian soil and felt like I was home.  Funny how after 7 months a place can feel like home.  I was ecstatic to see Rosie in the parking lot, Glenda’s van, and although an old girl, she is dependable as the day is long.  Even more ecstatic was I to see my friend Glenda, waiting patiently for my arrival.  Glenda has become my family here and though we come from different worlds and experiences, she is as my own sisters are to me.  It is quite incredible how God has brought our two worlds together for His purposes and plans for the Kingdom.  Glenda has been a faithful intercessor to stand by me as the Lord has commissioned her.  I know she covers me in prayer when I am oblivious to my surroundings and speaks truth to me when needed.  I am thankful for her faithful friendship.  The ministerial relationship is God breathed and truly for Kingdom purposes.  I was also met by another Australian pastor with flowers to welcome me back to Australia.  This feels like home and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me here.
With feet barely on the ground, we headed for the DOCS (dept of child services) office while Glenda worked to get a 10-year-old family member into a safer situation.  We ended up spending the night in Sydney and then headed out Thursday morning for Moree.  We drove all day and finally arrived late Thursday night in Moree, tired and beginning to feel the effects of jet lag.  Bodies don’t adjust as quick as they did when young, and I found myself battling allergies and congestion.  Not the way I wanted to begin my stay in Australia, yet being under the weather has forced me to rest and try to stay down.  The one blessing is that I brought my Benadryl tablets as they are not found here so I have been able to take them to help me through this adjustment period.
Since I left Australia in January, Glenda has obtained temporary custody of a 13-year-old family member so I truly came back to a family.  It has been a long time since I have shared quarters with a teenage boy so each day I get exposed to the trials and tribulations of modern day parents.  With that said, I am thankful I am not charged to raise a child in these perilous days.  Hats off to those that live that experience daily.  It also means a potential move to accommodate a household of three.  It seems I have barely unpacked and may be packing the house up to move into a three-bedroom home.  Though lots of work to move, it will be a blessing to have room to spread out.  We have committed it to prayer and await the outcome.    
It has not taken long to get into the Aussie mindset.  We don’t have a meal, we have a feed.  We have biscuits instead of cookies.  We purchase petrol instead of gas and we live in a flat instead of an apartment.  Aussies are very gracious and always comment how a feed is lovely or nice and always end their sentences with “yeah”.  When they say “yeah”? they are asking if you agree and when they say “yeah” they are confirming a statement.  The more difficult switch is re-training your brain to go from right to left.  I find myself still confused in my mind when we approach an intersection.  I know within a short time it will all seem natural to me again.  Until then, I will stay in the left-hand passenger seat.  I still find myself trying to step on the brake.  Old habits die hard!
With a week of recovery time, we headed for Tweed Heads for a rally and saw God’s heart for the people here.  He is calling the body of Christ to repentance and holiness and Sunday morning, although a small group, several prophets echoed the heart of God for His people.  I anticipate what the Lord is doing here.  He brought me back suddenly and I believe that He will move just a quick in preparing the bride of Christ for these last days. 
Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare for ministry and outreach to the community.  If we move, we will be located in the center of an area of outreach and where many children live.  It is awesome to watch God move in a people so oppressed to show His loving kindness to them and that He has not forgotten the Aboriginal people.  Your prayers, support, and encouragement are making a difference!
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Christmas in Australia

12/23/2016

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It is Christmas Eve and it does not feel like the Christmas that I know and love.  No snow, no hot chocolate with marshmellows, no coffee cakes, no Chickasha lights, no snow boots, no caroling.  It is hot and I am sweating...seems like Texas in August.  We came to Sydney for the holidays and the down time has been wonderful.  I have gone window shopping, ridden the rail, visited the harbor, and seen the Sydney opera house, eaten fish and chips, and enjoyed a cup or two of coffee.  The down time these past 2 days has been a welcome after the long months of travel and ministry.  Our last stop before heading to Sydney was in Tingha where I got the chance to fossick.  For those that know me, I love rocks so that was a highlight here in Australia.  Sitting in the dirt and digging for rocks seemed like a little bit of heaven as I found quartz, and timy pieces of gemstones.  I want to take a class now!

From Sydney we will head for Mully and then to Yamba.  I have no doubt that God has a divine purpose in our heading to those places.  I hope both places are cool enough which will make living in the tent comfortable.  I have become quite adapted at living in the tent and sleeping on a foam mattress. It is amazing how adaptable we are and that God created us to be that way.  I have adapted well to the elements and living a simpler life with greater exposure to the elements.  I actually have a tan...first one in 20 years!

When I go home to Moree, it will be to pack to head back to the States.  My time here has been beautiful and a journey as I watch God's love for a people and His desire to bring healing into their midst.  I am praying and asking when I should return.  I have no doubt that at some point I will return.  The work has just begun and I need to raise funds.  I have spent everything out of my bank account to support myself and now I am to the place to depend fully upon the Lord to provide funding to finish the work here.  Thank you for my Oklahoma friends that listened to the Lord and sent money so we could travel to the next two locations.  I am in awe how the Lord truly fulfills every name of His and that He is who He says He is.  Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy New Year.  I will see many of you soon!
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Open Air Meetings

8/22/2016

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Open air meetings are where we do outreach weekly to the Aboriginal communities by going to a neighborhood and setting up on an empty lot and preaching the gospel from that lot.  We literally preach to the open air as we don't set up and preach to people attending but  face a field, an empty lot , etc.  The people can hear the PA system from their homes and they either will listen from their front yard or inside their homes.  The individuals who sit in the chairs are believers who come to sing for praise and worship, support our effort, or minister.

Pastor Jason is faithful as the day is long and will go minister whether anyone else shows up or not.  He tells a story how he was by himself one Sunday morning and no one showed up.  He began to worship and soon the dogs of the neighborhood all came and sat in front of him and listened to him. Soon children arrived and filled the chairs and when he finished preaching, the children left and then the dogs all left.  God sent children and dogs to listen and support his efforts.  

We use a power cord to run the electricity from the closest home.  Using the electricity helps determine where we get to set up at.  One day I would like to see them have a box truck and a gas generator so they could go on the road, set up from the truck and not be limited by electricity needs.  Having a puppet stage that drops down from the side of the truck would be wonderful too.

Once we set up, I begin the services by singing in the spirit.  The Aboriginal culture have a tradition of singing people to them.  If you ever saw the movie Australia, the little boy sings Mrs. Boss to him.  When we begin, I say that I am singing them to Him (the Lord).  When I finish singing , I blow the shofar as well to change the atmosphere before the Word of God is preached.  Praise and worship is also done before the preaching to soften hearts.  Once the word of God is preached, we bless the neighborhood and close with a prayer.  

When I first came, I wondered if the open air meetings were really effective but I have come to believe that God has a purpose in delivering the Word that way.  I know the Spirit of God has dropped on me multiple times as we preached and even had me give words of knowledge as well as the plan of salvation and pleas to turn away from sin and darkness.  

It seems like such an odd way to minister but I find the heart of God in that He meets us where we are at.  He doesn't ask them to dress up, come to a building to hear His love for them.  He meets them where they at.  Isn't that really the unconditional love of our Father?  He comes to where we are and He pursues us.  That is agape love.  If only we could love like that in every circumstance and with every person he puts in our path.  I will miss ministering like this when I return to the United States.  Maybe this is my preparation grounds for a different kind of ministry that is coming...I am ready.
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Pastor Jason setting up the PA system.
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The open field we face when preaching.
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What is left of the foundation of burned down home.  The tree out front is burned black as well.
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A bed mattress left from the fire. 
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Me singing them to Him.  I am wearing 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants to stay warm.  Temperature ranges between 38 to 65 degrees.  This morning it was around 40 degrees.
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Praise and worship Me blowing the shofar.  They hold a microphone in front of the shofar so it can be heard for a long way.
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Praise and worship before the morning preaching.
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Retrain the Brain

8/10/2016

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Life in Australia has been challenging in many arenas. Everything is backwards and I am having to retrain my brain to think differently.   The toilets flush counter-clockwise, people walk on the left, you drive on the left side of the street, steering wheel is on the right, turn signal on the right, and the list goes on.  Some transitions have been easier than others.  The difficult one has been in driving.  To drive on the left isn't so bad but intersections look completely different from the right side of the steering wheel.  I was taken out to practice and did fine until I was asked a question that required me to think about and the next turn I made I found myself driving on the right side of the road instead of the left.  How quick my brain kicked into auto pilot for driving and it was programmed to turn onto the right side of the street, which was wrong!  The reality is that to be able to change a mindset takes awareness, discipline, repetition, and time.  It does not happen overnight unless God miraculously transforms our mind.  Generally we walk it out and have to retrain our brain to prevent us from falling into brokenness again.  Fortunately, there were no cars coming and I was able to move into the left lane where I was safe.  I also realized how quick we can return to old habits and mindsets if we are not aware.  It is making me consider and examine mindsets that are auto-pilot in my life and keep me on the wrong path.  I'm speaking of things that are so entrenched that I don't even realize I have the mindsets and attitudes of tradition.  God is really impressing me that time is short and it is imperative to review all areas of my life, even areas where I have walked in victory to make sure the enemy has not crept in thru mindsets, traditions, and belief systems.  The spirit of intercession dropped on me the other day as I people watched in the center of town.  I experienced such grief that the reward of His suffering on the cross will be lost on many.  When we arrived home, we were met with the news that a family member had experienced a heart attack and was gone.  Life is such a vapor and the heaviness of the ramifications of not knowing our light and salvation, Jesus, versus the sheer joy of knowing we will see our loved ones again because they received Jesus' free gift of salvation and they are His reward for the price He paid on Calvary.  Just the thought that I am His reward does something  beautiful in my heart.  God's most extravagant love displayed just to have me back to dwell in His presence.  Selah...no words can expound on that revelation...again I say selah.
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Kangaroos, Kindness, and Tradition

7/6/2016

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Well I have been here 3 weeks and finally saw my first live kangaroos.  I have seen lots of dead kangaroos on the side of the roads where they have been hit by vehicles but had not seen any live ones because of all the rain.  We took a drive and I spotted them in a field we were passing.  We stopped and though it is far away, I was able to capture a few seconds of them hopping across the field.  They are huge and majestic.  I tried posting a video of them but was unsuccessful, but was able to post it for download (to the right).  When I played it, it was upside down so I give up!  The point is I saw Kangaroos!  So now I feel like I have really experienced Australia.  

One of the most striking things here in the Aboriginal community is the kindness of the people.  They are gracious beyond belief.  We went to a prayer meeting last night, which was quite interesting.  I was greeted with such acceptance and kindness and treated as an honored guest while at this prayer meeting.  The praise and worship was phenomenal and quite enjoyable.  I so wanted to sing but can only sing for a few minutes before my voice goes out.  When the singing stopped, they started around the circle and each person prayed. The prayers were powerful and for their community. When the prayers were finished, a huge meal had been prepared and everyone who attended the prayer meeting were fed.  All the men were seated at the table and served first.  It is both Aboriginal custom and Fijian custom to serve the men first.  I was then served and all the women were fixed plates and we all sat in the living room and on the floor to eat.  It was interesting to see the traditions of both other countries and people.  The woman who had invited us to the prayer meeting, Sister Maureen, is considered the woman elder of the Aboriginal community in Moree.  She is a precious woman of God.  She had participated 50 years ago in the Freedom Rider movement here in Moree that broke the segregation in the pools located here in Moree.  Aboriginals were not allowed to swim in the pools and she participated in getting the segregation changed to allow Aboriginal children to swim in the pools too.  Today she is still standing against injustice but this time it is spiritually and for the people of her community who are lost and addicted.   What a privilege to not only spend time daily with Pastor Angus, the elder of the Kamilaroi tribe but to meet Sister Maureen, the female elder of the tribe.  It has certainly been a great week here in the outback.  Australia grows on me each day I spend here.  
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Reconciliation/Healing

6/26/2016

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Well I have been here less than 3 weeks and I marvel at what God is doing in this season.  The Aboriginal culture is very different than America and women are allowed to minister to women but they are not allowed to minister to the men.  From the moment I heard God telling me to move forward with this relocation and assignment, the prayer warriors, intercessors and I began praying for me to have great favor and open doors.  God called me to reach out for reconciliation of relationships in my own life and I reached out to ones whom I had offended or hurt and saw God reconcile several relationships in my own life.  The Lord spoke to my heart, if I would model forgiveness and reach out to reconcile relationships that I would carry the banner of reconciliation in my new assignment. 

Since I have arrived, I have watched the atmosphere change around me and watched God's sovereign hand to reconcile people on many levels.  The first week here, God opened the door for me to stand in proxy for the white man who has been racist toward the Aboriginal people and the Fijians and ask forgiveness of both tribes for the actions of past generations.  With that forgiveness came a flood of healing and a breaking of unforgiveness, attitudes, and hurt.   I was also allowed to pray for both men Pastors, something that is certainly uncommon and then wash the feet of four pastors to restore them back to their position that God has called them to.

Since I have been here I have seen several pastors forgive people for betrayal and I have seen a 25 year broken relationship restored and healed.   I marvel at the power behind a simple act of forgiveness.

I also brought with me my Wholetones CDs (www.wholetones.com) and began playing them in the house and have seen the move of God as they played.  Worship was deep and as the music played, Pastor Angus saw Jesus come into the room and embrace him.  The music has also opened the doors to those listening to recall childhood events that were painful and allow Jesus to touch those places and bring healing.  Daily I am seeing healing, restoration, joy, and expression of love for our Redeemer.  

We seem to make healing difficult but it is simple.  Forgiveness, humility, worship, reconciling our past within ourselves, and loving one another...isn't that what it is really about?   Selah...

  
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Toomelah Aboriginal Mission Rally

6/13/2016

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No more than I finished unpacking, I packed a bag and we headed for Toomelah Aboriginal Mission Friday for the rally there.  When I hear mission, I think of a small church.  My perception was shattered as we pulled into Toomelah Mission, which would be equivalent to an Indian Reservation.  When crossing a small bridge at the entry, all internet and contact with the outside world is disconnected.  From my understanding, years ago, Toomelah Aboriginal Mission had a curfew and if the Aboriginal people were out after the curfew given to Aboriginals, they would be picked up and taken back to the mission.  Although not legally a prison, they were treated as prisoners in many respects.  

The homes were old and many in disrepair and it was easy to see the poverty of the Aboriginal people.  We drove to the home of Pastor Angus' family and were met by gracious family members.  The Aboriginal people are relatively shy, meek, and kind.  We went from there to the rally, which was held under a big tent.  I was layered with pants, long skirt, boots, 2 shirts, neck scarf and my bath robe and I was still cold.  Because it is so cold to sit still several hours, many of the people wear their heavy bath robes to keep warm or bring blankets to the meeting or wear layers and coats.  The weather was so cold that we ended up spending funds to get a room for the night.  The original plan was to stay in a tent for the night so I was thrilled with the change in plans.  I am sure that warmer weather will birth the use of the tent and I will experience camping before it is over.  

My perception is that the services are quite different than in the USA.  If the meeting is set to start at 7pm, it may start then or much later.  When the singing begins, slowly people begin showing up.  Before the main speaker ever begins, they have several people they invite forward to sing or to testify.  Finally the main speaker for that session begins.  Afterward, the hosts of the rally provide a tea or meal for those attending.  Rallies are hosted at a great price, both financially and physically.  Pastors Adrian and Alan worked tirelessly and on Sunday afternoon, they served plates of lamb, chicken, and fish to over 100 to 150 people.  The Aboriginals are most gracious and hospitable. 

During the service, the children came and went and played around the area or underneath the tent.  Dogs as well wandered in and out of the tent area.  I believe that when the Spirit moves, it will draw the animals and little children.  The freedom of the children is quite remarkable.  They would come to the edge of the tent and listen and then go their way.  The Aboriginal people are gentle and polite.  I never once heard anyone yell or correct the children where anyone could hear them.  Don't misinterpret, the children were corrected but it was done with looks, whispers, and nods.  The children are precious.  They were curious about the shofar and related to me being from Texas to their town of Texas in Australia.  

I spoke on Saturday morning on reconciliation to the ladies and watched as hearts opened and tears shed because of the great prejudice and racism toward the Aboriginal race.  The racism exists even among the Aboriginals and Islanders (Fijians and Tongans).  The darker the skin, the less recognition.  That racism hit us square in the face on Sunday morning.  We stopped at McDonald's for breakfast and sat at a table next to an elderly woman.  She visited with us until some of the Aboriginal people came in and sat with us.  When an Australian pastor came in with his boys, she asked where they were headed and when they said Toomelah Aboriginal Mission for a rally, she raised her voice and told them they better be careful and protect their money as the people there were thieves and no good.  It is sad to see such a beautiful people held down by prejudiced perceptions.

My first experience with the Aboriginal people was beautiful.  Pastor Angus is an elder in the tribe so I was received with open hearts and saw the beautiful hearts of the people.  God's love for these people is extravagant.  What a privilege to see Him move and heal the hurts of this land.  The rally in Moree will be held in July and the leaders are working to bring unity and healing to this area.  If you would like to support the local rally being held here in Moree, I will be setting up a Paypal link where you can give to help feed those attending the rally as well as help support the ministers that will be traveling here to minister out.  Any help is greatly appreciated.  How blessed we are in the states comparatively.  The oppression is great and yet God's move is even greater.  I look forward to see what will happen next...He is moving. 
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Arrival Day

6/9/2016

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Well I arrived in Australia in one piece but not so lucky with my travel items.  The flight from DFW to LAX was supposed to be a 3 hour flight with a 4 hour layover.  We boarded a 3 month old 60 million dollar plane and sat on the tarmac for 2 hours, only to be told we would have to deplane as it was not working properly.  We were sent to another gate and had to go through the boarding process all over again and wait for baggage to be transferred from one plane to the next.  The entire process burned my 4 hour layover and we were greeted by a Quantas rep who led us to the next flight, which was then delayed another hour and a half.  The next leg of the flight, though 15 1/2 hours was much better than the 3 hour flight.  When I arrived in Australia, it was 7:30 Tuesday morning.  I had lost Monday altogether when we crossed the International Dateline.  It took an hour and a half to find my bags, realize I had 2 missing bags, do a missing bag report and clear customs.  

When I finally got to Peggy and Angus, we headed out and the ride home was a 7 hour trip.  To break the trip up we stopped in Queensland at a place in the mountains.  Very beautiful with lots of trees, waterfalls, and spectacular views.  I was able to see new birds that I have never seen before and that is exciting to experience trees, birds, and animals never seen before.  It is wonderment.  After stopping, we continued the drive and the scenery changed as we got to the state of New South Wales.  It reminds me of Oklahoma as you head for Anadarko or of West Texas.  You can see the changes in scenery from the pictures.  Most strangely is adjusting to driving on the left and seeing cars to the right of your lane.

 I am still adjusting to that.  It has been an absolute culture shock, I think more than Africa was.  I had some expectation of Africa and my expectations were pretty spot on.  My expectations here are very different.  The people are polite and very proper.  I have tea 2 times a day.  Moree is quite different.  There are many houses burned out from either the children setting them on fire or from them being blown up from meth labs.  We drove around several streets and the poverty and burned homes are sad.

I finally got my 2 missing bags on Thursday and got everything unpacked and put away.  Unfortunately, I had items damaged from the flight and Quantas does not cover them so now I get to experience filing claims with insurance.  This morning I will pack a bag as we head out for a rally this weekend.  It has been continual going since I stepped off the plane.   My hope is that my days and nights will get switched soon and I will begin to adjust to life in Australia.  I do love it though and trust God has a plan for me here.  Thanks for the prayers!
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May 31st, 2016

5/31/2016

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I awoke this morning and headed for my follow-up appointment after surgery.  I still awaken each day with a sore throat and it has been 8 days since surgery.  I felt very nervous as I headed to the doctor.  I have had lots of mixed emotions the past 2 days.  I drove to the cemetery on Memorial Day and my heart hurt.  I drove home very tearful and stayed that way most of the day.  Right before I went to bed, I received news of victory for someone I have been praying for.  That was a sweet way to end such a difficult day.  From an emotional low to an emotional high.  I am everywhere on the spectrum right now.

Now my nerves are working overtime, anxious I may hear that my voice is as good as it gets.  You don't realize how valuable and precious something is until it is gone.  I began singing solos at age 10 and I have never had any issues with my voice.  When I purchased my ticket to Australia, my voice became hoarse and each day I would wake thinking it would be better and it was not.  I found myself pressing to talk and overcompensating for the lack of sound coming out.  Each day, my voice was becoming worse.  When you talk for a living and sing as well, losing your voice impacts you tremendously.  I am not defined by my voice but my voice is the vehicle used in my life to accomplish and utilize the gifts God has given me.  

With my voice deteriorating, I finally went to an Otolaryngologist and had a scope done to find that there were nodules on my vocal chords.  Silence was the remedy.  Two weeks of silence did not change the hoarseness.  When I went for the followup, another scope revealed that the nodules were gone but there was something wrong with my right vocal chord, which mandated surgery.  I had surgery on May 23rd and returned to work on the 24th with limited speaking.  I spoke more that day with training than I had the prior 2 weeks.  My voice was cracking and my concern was that this may be as good as it gets.  It is hard to maintain your faith when you continue to see little or no improvement.  I know I heard God tell me it was going to be okay and that I would be healed in His time.  The real question is when is His time?  Going halfway around the world to teach, sing, and minister without a voice is definitely a step of faith.

As I drove to my surgical followup, my prayer was that my voice would be restored before arriving in Australia and that Australia be the redemption of all the trials, struggles, and loss in my life.  Step one, I need my voice back. 

When Dr. Clark came into the examination room, I greeted him with a smile and hello.  He asked how I was doing and I began to share what I had been experiencing.  His response was that he could not believe how great I was doing.  He told me most patients are still whispering at this point or have tremendous hoarseness.  He could hear very little hoarseness and was amazed at how well I had healed thus far.  I got the okay to begin singing softly and strengthening my voice, 5 minutes a day.  He said my voice would only get better if I was this progressed at this point in my healing.

Dr. Clark went on to explain that my diagnosis was  sulcus vocalis, where there was a groove on my right vocal chord.  It created a pouch like area where a polyp developed and eventually caused the vocal chords unable to make sound.  The larger the polyp grew, the less vocal range I had.  They are not sure what causes sulcus vocalis but many believe it to be a birth defect.  Dr.  Clark cut out the polyp and the groove.  I was talking better the very next day so my expectation was not realistic.  I kept looking for supernatural recovery not realizing I was experiencing supernatural recovery.  God is good and still in control and my fears and concerns have dissipated.  This is not as good as it gets.  It is getting better because He has promised it and ordained it.  

This whole experience is once again redemption from broken dreams and hopes as I move from one dimension to a new dimension.  I could not walk in the new realm without going through all that I have.  He continues to show me that He is my hope and He smiles on me.  I am His beloved and that is as good as it gets.

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Dreaming...Again

5/25/2016

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When Dennis passed in January 2015, family and friends started asking if I was moving back to Houston.  My answer was emphatically no.  I needed stability.  With both my brother and husband passing away 5 weeks apart, I needed stability and purpose and work here in Oklahoma City was providing that need; it was a good escape and distraction to all that life had dealt me.  When we moved back to OKC  the end of 2013, it was a God ordained move and I was resolute that I would be here until another God move.  When our apartment lease came due in August 2015, it made sense to downsize to a 1 bedroom apartment but I could not endure another change or loss.  My mental and emotional health dictated a renewal of my lease so I signed a 7 month lease to give me additional time. 

When my Mom passed November 2015, the questions came again.  I have always seen myself caring for my parents in their old age and yet when the opportunity presented itself, I felt led to stay put in Oklahoma City.  I can't explain, other than I felt peace about staying in Oklahoma City and you can't go wrong when you follow God's peace.   When my lease declaration came due in January 2016, I prayed that God would provide the length of lease that I needed. I felt like I was ready to handle a major life change and downsizing made sense.  The apartments offered me a 3 month lease, which would end in June and allow me time to pack and prepare for moving.  I was not sure where I would be moving come June, whether into a smaller apartment or back to Houston but I would be ready with an extra 3 month period of preparation.

As I began to prepare to downsize, I started hearing Australia and it just seemed crazy to me.  As I prayed, it was no longer a pipe dream or crazy idea but something God was growing in my heart.  I told no one but continued to put it before God in prayer. I told the Lord I would need confirmation to be able to step out like that.

Be careful what you ask for, as God is faithful to provide validation for our doubt and unbelief.  I went to Louisiana for a weekend of down time and ended up being prophesied over multiple times.  Pastor Marlice prophesied a new assignment, which would be global.  I had several validations during that Valentine's Day weekend that my new assignment would be Australia.  

In a matter of just a few months, I have been able to not only accept another major life change but begin to execute that life change.  I have downsized by selling most of my possessions and my job has given me a 3 month leave of absence and the ability to work online as needed.  Friends have helped me sell belongings, pack, and encourage me to step out.  Family has been accepting and supportive of this move.  Each obstacle I have encountered has been overcome.  

I can tell you that Australia was not my dream in any way shape or form.  When we did our dream exercise in Discovery Training, Dennis and I had the same dream.  We saw ourselves ministering together in Africa and Israel.  That dream disappeared January 4, 2015 when Dennis gained his ultimate dream to see the face of Jesus.  When losing your partner, it is difficult to dream new dreams.  All your dreams and hopes are gone and unrealized.  To dream again is too risky and feels like the rug might be ripped out from under your feet...again.  It is too painful to imagine experiencing that kind of loss again, so survival dictates that dreaming is a thing of the past and safely you keep status quo.

The truth is that God is the dream giver and dream executor.  God's dreams for me were greater than I had the heart or ability to dream for myself. I had settled and the Lord had to strip much out of my life for me to consider losing everything for His plans for me.  Had I not lost everything over the past several years, I would have allowed what I had to overtake the dreams and destiny He had for me.  God took care of that for me.   It is hard to admit that I had relinquished my dreams of long ago.  Missionary work was my dream and once I married Dennis, I had incorporated him into my dream.  Somewhere along the way, the dream had morphed.  Without Dennis it was no longer a dream.  That was a wrong belief that I had taken on.  My dream of missionary work was not contingent upon Dennis.  It was contingent upon my obedience and surrender to God's desire.  How grateful I am that God not only placed the desire within me, but fanned it again when I was no longer capable of fanning the flame.  He placed the desire back in me, gave confirmations, provided support, and removed barriers.

When I left Africa in 2001, I cried as I wanted to stay there and did not want to come home.  I had found my passion in the mission field.  I came home and as each door closed to be able to return, I allowed that dream to dissipate.  Marrying Dennis revived that hope and with his passing, it felt gone forever.  

We have to be careful what wrong beliefs we allow to creep into our thinking.  I am filled with awe and gratitude as I watch God orchestrate my life to give me the dreams of my heart again.  What felt like disappointments, betrayals, failures, and loss have all been refining tools to prepare me for this next assignment.

I don't know how long I will be in Australia.  It may a a 3 month assignment or a lifelong assignment, but this I do know, the Lord has assigned and planned each step of my life in this day and this hour and I just need to surrender and trust that He will use my life in the way that He has ordained it.  My heart's cry has been that I would fulfill the purpose of my creation.  To do so, I have to erase all my limited thinking and limiting behavior and recognize I serve a limitless God.  

So Australia it is for now.  God is sovereign and in control...and I am dreaming again.
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