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My Testimony-Peggy

6/5/2012

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Testimony

My life had been one of those you do not even want to write about.  No one would believe it all.  I experienced years of family abuse and torture from older siblings ( I was number 5 of 10) when my parents were not around.  There was intense physical abuse (52 scars just on my arms and hands), emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse from 3 generations.  One brother sexually abused me from the time I was 4 until 14, and when I began to stand up against the abuse, the word “VICTIM” was written so large across my forehead that neighborhood boys and men could see it, and they partook of the innocence of my childhood, defiling it to nothingness.  Life was only seen through glasses of pain, fear, rejection, and despair.  I was emotionally unable to keep one job for very long, and there was so much insecurity, fear, and vain imaginations that it would destroy all confidence I could muster up.  Before I married there were so many encounters with men I could not count them, unbelievable numbers even in this generation.  I really believed sex was love and I so longed to be loved.  I was raised Catholic, so I had a Christian foundation of God, Jesus, and hope, but I could not recall much of childhood that was good.  One major trauma of childhood was being beaten for saying “no”, even though I did not understand the question being asked.  I was beaten bloody for saying no.  I did not learn I could say no until I was 56 years old!  Only God knows the intensity of situations that this mindset encouraged.  If your “NO” is stolen and you don’t know how to get it back, you believe everything someone demands of you, you must do (rational thinking was not a gift to me at that point).  Marriage after marriage (eight) was destroyed because of the scars of sexual abuse and the fears of rejection, vain imaginations and abandonment deep in my soul.  I married only to find that the abuse continued in unspeakable ways.  The rapes continued from outsiders until I was 38, and it was always by someone I thought was a friend. There was little help.  I was saved at 29 but that did not stop the abuse and pain that was “normal” to me.  People had no idea how to help me.   One day during the 80’s, my pastor at that time prayed I would never again come up to the altar for ministry for my past and after that I didn’t.   I just stayed away.  He did not want to know the depths I was trying to get out from under.  God did allow me to go to the mission field for nine years, even though I was an emotional cripple.  He allowed me that opportunity and it changed my life and gave me the first hope of peace. Then I met Becca in 1995.  I was 51 at that time and trust was a major issue for me, but she just loved me and accepted me as I was.  Her ministry through the years has kept me going.  Yes there were other life changing experiences, but she stayed faithful and would pray for me often.  HOWEVER in 2012, when I was 67, she and Catherine prayed for me with a type of ministry I have never heard of or seen. Yet in their tender love and care God showed them each and every sorrow, wound, every heart break, every fracture to my tortured soul. There was no fear with them. There was no judgment with them only love. When the time was complete from their ministry, I was complete.  Never having been complete before I began to experience life in a way most people experience every day. Wholeness, completeness, and vibrant love of life and others were mine!  I have been dramatically set free from a lifetime of abuse, horror, and shame.  I now enjoy life and I am a complete, whole, and peaceful person for the first time in my life.  I had prayed for years, “God how can I love you with my whole heart if I am not whole?”  I now understand and I love Him with my whole heart, mind, and soul.  With my whole heart, mind, and soul, I thank Becca and Catherine.

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My Testimony-Christi Dostal

10/5/2011

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As I think about all the things the Lord has done in my life over the span of 39 years, it simply amazes me.  I grew up going to church with my neighbor's family, became saved when I was four, and walked closely with the Lord until I was about 16. This is when my life changed drastically. I continued going to  church and had my quiet time with Him, but it wasn't the same. I lived on the fence for about twelve years. At twenty eight, I went through a horrible divorce but through all of that God was so faithful to me. He loved me and comforted me and held me in the midst of my storm. I had gone to a few retreats and went through a program, Discovery! Training, and found so much healing in that time.  I ended up going to a retreat hosted by Rebecca Anderson and Cindy Morgan through Surrendered Souls in 2006 at Davis, OK that really began to change my life to a whole new level, I have attended about six since then. That first retreat I began to see the areas of my life that I really did not trust God and what I needed to surrender to Him in order for me to learn to trust Him on a deeper level.  Fear was my greatest stronghold at that time and it was paralyzing me. Once I began to release the fear and trust the Lord more day by day, my life with Him began to change in a great capacity. The second retreat that I attended was 2008 in Mexia, Tx. This is the retreat when the Lord showed me who He really is and wants to be in my life. At this retreat I committed myself to be His and His alone. Since that time I have attended at least four other times and each time I have been the Lord reveals more and more to me of who I am in Him and where He is leading me.

Several years ago I remember thinking how can I be free from all these things that are keeping me in bondage. I felt as though I was bound by shackles and chains and that I would never be free from all the garbage that seemed to be sucking the life out of me. I had spoken to Rebecca on several occassions about all of the stuff that kept me tied up. I continued to talk about it for a span of about five years. Back in January of 2011 she asked if I would meet with her and Cindy to begin to deal with these issues. I agreed to do so and through the Surrendered Souls Mentorship Program the Lord has taken me yet to a deeper relationship with Him. I had so much darkness in my past that kept me tangled up in the enemy's snares that I was never able to walk in freedom from all the evil that was from my childhood and teen year as well as from things I have dealt with as an adult.
I have been diligent with the program and have taken each step seriously and continue to walk in a freedom that I find a priviledge and am so blessed to walk in.  As I lay it all at His feet and rest in His arms all of the shackles and chains that once had me bound have been broken. The Lord has once again been faithful to me because once again I have trusted Him and surrendered more of my life to Him and He has set this captive FREE.

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    Testimonies

    Testimonies strengthen and build our faith as well as encourage others.  Feel free to submit your testimony to be posted here for others to read.

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